Birth Stories (long post)

At long last we have written our accounts of Gwynne's birth. Something we did after Devin was born and cherished so even though it took longer to get to this time, it was definitely something we wanted to do. We also have three to read. Since Grandma ended up being present for the birth, it is fun to have her perspective as well. Lots of reading here, for those that just can't get enough detail (nothing gross).

Chris's account:

I begin this story about the birth of my daughter completely humbled and in awe of how little a person can understand the events that dictate his life. I have to preface with the fact that up to the moment that Gwynne was born I had concerns that there would be nothing new to say, no personally enlightening insights, that the births of my two kids would mirror each other and that by fate's guiding hand, the unlucky second child would unfortunately live in her older sibling's shadow. Gwynne however must have sensed this concern and made sure such things would never happen.

Now not to take anything away from the birth of my son Devin, which was a defining moment in the lives of both Cate and myself, the birth of Gwyneth Enora Sia was equaly remarkable and distinct in its own right. The day started out as a usual day. I got up, helped with Devin in the morning, and went to work. Cate had been feeling pre-labor contractions for the last week or so, so we had it in our minds that our baby girl Gwynne would be coming soon. I however still held the belief that she was going to come closer to her due date...stupid me!!! My parents along with my aunt Mary-Ann and Uncle Fran were visiting when I got home from work. All the guests, Cate and Devin were gathered around the table when I walked through the door, the smell of my mom's lasagna filled the house and Devin was the center of attention, as one would expect. Unknown to me, my mom had already decreed earlier that due to her lasagna, Cate would deliver the baby that day. I heard this when I got home and at the time it seemed, well.... a little ridiculous. Anyway, Cate told me after dinner that she felt like the contractions were a bit stronger, and that this could be the night, ha! Mom! I gave our on call midwife a call just to give her a heads up. I assured her that it was early, Cate was still walking around and talking, so it will be several hours until we are even remotely ready to come into the hospital.

With the prospect of a new grandchild's arrival, my parents, aunt and uncle prepared to leave for the evening to allow us to get into our relaxation exercises and prep Cate for labor and delivery. At this time i was thinking, Wow! by tomorrow I'll be a Dad again, I didn't know how right I was at the time!!!! What I should have been thinking is....in an hour I will be a Dad again!! or..... before my parents make the trip home to Winchester I'll be a Dad again!!!!, or....... in the time it takes to pop 20 bags of popcorn...(I like popcorn), I'll be a Dad again!!!! We waved goodbye to my parents and began Bradley relaxation in our basement while Cate's mom was upstairs ready to take over the evening watch of Devin who was fast asleep upstairs in his room. At this time our thought process was to relax in the basement, wait until Cate was getting close and pack up the car for the trek out to Loudoun Hospital. This was so we could limit the amount of noise in the house so Devin could stay asleep, being the type to wake up at the smallest creek or lightest bump.

It had been no less than 10-20 minutes after my parents left the house that Cate started to make deeper moaning sounds with each contraction, however still not as deep and chilling as what I was calling the "marker moans". The "marker moans" were the deep spine chilling moans that Cate let out during Devin's labor which signaled to me it was time to head to the hospital. It was these "markers" that I was listening for this time....<>. Cate's contractions started getting stronger and closer together.

Only 30-40 minutes after the parents left us to our work, Cate looked at me and said, "maybe we should head to the Hospital". "Naw!!!!!", I thought to myself, "We still have 6 hours to go at least!". "We don't want to go in too early." "Maybe we should." Cate stated again. "Okay, I'll start packing the car, you head upstairs on the couch". I helped Cate up the stairs to the main level of the house and her mom took over watch as I started packing the Mazda. "Now what do I need to take to the Hospital?" I asked myself as I tried to maintain a cool and collected facade to Cate and her mother. "Hey babe, where did you put your bag again?" Cate response: "Uuuuuggggowweeee!!!!!" Mother-in-law response: "Maybe you should hurry yourself up!!!!" The six hours I had in my head quickly started to whittle down to next to nothing as Cate stopped responding to me all together. At this point panic started to set in, followed by doubt, followed by self doubt, followed by confusion, followed by profuse sweating, and finally resting at a place where even figuring where to put a pillow in a car seemed like an impossible decision.

T-minus 10....": The car was finally set, and Cate needed one more stop in the bathroom before heading to the Hospital. She slowly brought herself into the bathroom and closed the door. I waited anxiously by the front door, my heart pounding through my chest thinking, "Do we have time to make it to the Hospital?" "CHRIS!!!!!!!!!" "Come here!!!!!" "My water just broke and.......I feel a head!!!!!!" The answer to my previous question....."No!"

"T-minus 9.....": So now I see my wife standing over the toilet in our downstairs bathroom, water broken, and the very obvious mass protruding from her unspeakables. All in one instant, I felt every vein in my body constrict in unison, as almost to say, "Dude you're F@#%'ed". Fortunately I had been reading a lot on birthing and delivery procedures, so while my nerves were halfway down the street, my mind could stand back and say, "Okay, we are doing this.", or was it the other way around?

"T-minus 8.....": I had my mother-in-law get my cell from my bag and dialed that "number-people-dial-when-they-need-help" number and got the operator. "911 can I help you?" Now my first inclination was to yell as loud and as long as I could "HELP!!!!!!" into the phone. I figured though that that would not do me any good. "My wife is having a baby in our bathroom, now!!!!" "Okay sir, what is your street address?" "It is ...um....uh...." Funny the things you lose. "Okay I just sent an ambulance to your address they should be there shortly...tell your wife not to push." At this point I figured that there was no way she was not going to push. I could see two-thirds of baby Gwynne's head. "Sir tell her not to push.", the operator stated again. So half-heartedly I said, "Honey, the operator says not to push." As if she was going to listen to me, nor did I expect her to.

"T-minus 7.....": At this point Cate was curled up in the corner of the smallest bathroom in our house. Dang that Murphy and his law! I was on the phone staring at what looked like a mango coming out of my wife. My mother-in-law ran to go get some towels and blankets for Cate to lay on, and boy did we need them! I was still on the phone with 911 and they realized now that nothing was going to stop Cate from pushing. "Okay make sure your wife is laying down and tell her to start pushing." "Once the head starts to come out reach in and see if the umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's head." "REACH IN!!!!!!.....What you talkin' bout Willis!!"

"T-minus 6....": Between trying to listen to the operator, hearing the high pitch "Oh my God's!" from Cate and attempting to feel around for the cord a million thoughts were racing through my head. "What if I screw this up? Why doesn't this look like a head yet? Is this really natural?" Slowly the head crept further and further out until eventually I could see the cord. I grabbed the phone that was logged between my ear and shoulder. "Sliiipppp......CRACK!!!" I looked at the phone on the floor and tried to pick it up agian. "I see the umb....." "Sliiiippp.....CRACK!!!!" The phone was now like holding a greased pig, or one of those water filled rubber inside-out thingies. I handed the phone to my mother-in-law and said, "Tell her that I see the cord around the baby's neck!"

"T-minus 5....": My mom-in-law said, "Well she says use your finger and gently pull it over the babies head." "Gently." I thought....."hah!" So as if Cate and Gwynne knew that I needed a moment to get the cord free, the contractions and pushing slowed down! I reached in and tried several times to pull the cord over baby G's head. No luck! Those things are slippery!!! At this point I could see most of Gwynne's head. Cate had just knocked her water bottle over by her head, and water gushed over the corner of the bathroom. I would call this foreshadowing if Cate's water hadn't already broke. I'm not sure she realized it when she did it.

"T-minus 4....": As I fumbled around with the cord, I thought to myself, "You can read a million books on this and you still wouldn't be prepared for what I am seeing now!!!" I kept recalling the stories in our Bradley class were the instructor spun tales of births of yore, where the babies were delivered in the backs of cars, in elevators and on rooftops of multinational corporations...okay I made the last one up. :P And at the time I thought "Wow! Glad that ain't me!!" Well now I was the story and as I searched tirelessly for the cord, I could hear Cate, almost in the background moaning with every contraction, her big beautiful eyes full of surprise and worry, and I knew I coulnd't let her down!

"T-minus 3....": At this point I was full into the fear-pain-doubt cycle, but I wasn't the one in labor. Out of sheer frustration I yelled to my mother-in-law, "Where is that AMBULANCE!!!!!" As if to say "I CAN"T DO THIS!!!!" But all I got in response was "Its on its way." Huh.

"T-minus 2....": Finally the head was out far enough for me to grab the cord wrapped snuggly around little Gwynne's neck. I slowly started to pull it over the babies head, and wouldn't you know.....it wasn't long enough. "CRAP!!!!" I pulled a little harder, still not enough!!! "Oh God, I hope I'm not pulling too hard!!!" So one last time I pulled harder and streched it over Gwynne's bloody matted hairy gray noggin. "I sure hope I didn't damage anything!"

"T-minus 1....": As if a ripcord to a fighter jet's cockpit seat, the cord flung out to the side and immediately Cate's contractions picked back up. "Uuuuuuooooowwwwweeeeee!!!!!!" Gwynne's head came jetting out fully, and I could see her little face in full view. Now for anyone who has had kid before you know what came after the next contraction......

"LIFTOFF!!!!!.......": Gwynne came flying out shoulder's knees and toes. As if I was the quarterback receiving the ball from the center, Gwynne plopped into my arms. The first thing I thought was "Turn sideways, clear mouth, spank." I did that, in that order and.....nothing! No cries. My heart stopped! I looked at Cate anxiously awaiting the first sounds from our baby girl, and there was silence. I thought, "Did I do something wrong, did I mess something up?" I tried the turn-clear-spank again....nothing, just a very brief false start and silence. The sweat was dripping from my brow, by heart was beating through my chest and stomach felt numb. "Come on baby, cry!!!" I did one more turn-clear-spank and.....what appeared to be another false start and then the faintest..."Waaaa." Then a louder "Waaaaa." Then a full on "WAAAAAA!!!!!!!" SUCCESS!!!!!!! WE HAVE GWYNNE!!!!!!

The operator instructed me to hold the baby between Cate's knees, and put a blanket over her while we waited another 5-7 minutes for the ambulance. I don't think I moved a muscle until they arrived. As I waited, Cate and I looked at our new baby girl as the pink slowly crept into her skin. "I'm thinking she's a 10 on the APGAR if I do say so myself." Cate and I looked on as the little one was crying and I said to Gwynne, "Hey, I was the first person you ever saw, I'm your daddy." Just then I felt the warmest sensation a father could feel....on his forearm, as Gwynne's first act in this world was peeing on her father. "Cate.." I said, "I'm pretty sure it's a girl." as in all the commotion, we forgot to check.

Seven minutes later the ambulance arrived and the EMS personnel rushed thought the door to see me holding my new baby while squatting in front of Cate. Apparently it is a high honor to deliver a baby in the field, so I think they were a little disappointed that I beat them to it. After cutting the cord and checking over baby G, it was at last time to go to the hospital, but not our hospital. Cate was carefully placed onto a stretcher and after realizing that we were no longer headed to Loudoun Hospital whisked away to Fair Oaks Hospital. I wasn't able to ride in the ambulance, but I followed behind, one hand on the wheel and one hand dialing family. It was the best feeling in my life being able to call my parents, whom I had just seen in my house and hour and a half earlier, and say, "I just delivered my baby girl!!!!!"

Oh by the way, Devin slept through the whole thing. Go figure.

Cate's account:

June 9, 2009. The morning began like many others of the last few weeks. Me, anxious and wondering if the very mild cramps/Braxton-Hicks contractions that I felt were actually going to lead to real labor. After Devin’s nap (and mine too), I was sure it was nothing again. Time for Nana, Bampa, Uncle Frank, and Aunt MaryAnn to arrive for a nice dinner. Nana brought her special lasagna. I felt something again soon after everyone arrived but easily ignored it until just after dinner. I realized that I’d been feeling light contractions for maybe 4 hours. Interesting. They had never lasted this long before.

Now they were hard to ignore completely. It was 6pm and I began thinking this could be ‘the day’ – or rather ‘the night’. So tired of giving the family the wrong idea, I didn’t say anything until after dinner. Chris didn’t really believe me then anyway. Just to be safe, something in me said to call Grandma for a heads up. When it was time, she was going to come to the house to take care of Devin when we were in the hospital. She almost expected me to call it seemed, since she had company. Her own parents were in town. An hour later, with bloody show and continuing contractions, I had Grandma on the phone again to say she had better come up for the night. Of course, she dropped everything and was on her way.

By 7pm, the 6 of us (Nana, Bampa, Uncle Frank, Aunt MaryAnn, Chris and myself) had put Devin to bed. I was proud of myself to have sung Devin his usual lullaby during a contraction. Couldn’t be too far into labor if I was still singing.
Just before Grandma arrived, at 7:30pm, I noted on Facebook that I was 99% sure we’d be at the hospital that night. Amazingly, still not completely convinced this was it. We packed up our last minute items for the hospital and I puttered around the house. We called our midwife-on-call, Margie, (who also delivered Devin) just to give her a heads-up that I was in labor and would probably be at the hospital in the middle of the night sometime. When I spoke with her on the phone, she agreed it was too early to come to the hospital. We didn’t need to call again since she was only minutes from the hospital. We were to go to the hospital when we were ready and she’d meet us there.

Around 8pm, we sent the rest of the family home. Having the extra conversation was a nice distraction up to this point. Now, it was time to focus on our relaxation techniques that we’d learned from our Bradley class during my pregnancy with Devin. The contractions were painful enough that I didn’t want to talk through them anymore, but my masterful coach and husband, helped me work through relaxing. I felt like it was working even better this time. I was thinking, “I can handle this…just let the baby move down the birth canal.” I also knew I still had a long way to go and the pain would get worse so I tried not to get overconfident. I started to moan through some contractions.

This made two people (Grandma and Me) start thinking about the hospital. With Devin sleeping, I didn’t want any noise to bother him and was thinking that we could go to the hospital a little early to avoid waking him. Grandma on the other hand, kept reminding me that I came a lot faster than my brother when I was born and that we should really think about heading to the hospital soon. Chris still figured we were a long way off, but knew not to argue with a woman in labor and packed the car while Grandma helped me through a contraction. The contractions, though only two to three minutes apart, were not painful enough for us to hurry. I needed a bathroom break before heading to the car. It was about 9pm.

Chris returned from packing the car to hear me loudly squeak out that my water just broke. Before Chris could compute that statement, I threw him another shocker: “I feel the head!” Though I don’t know how and when, Chris had 911 on the phone right away. I don’t remember him ever being out of sight. Grandma and Chris urged me to get off the toilet, though I really didn’t want to move at that point. I managed to pretzel myself around our tiny half bathroom so that my head and shoulders were squished against the wall and to the side of the sink pedestal. My legs stretched out to the hall where Chris was uncomfortably crouched. At the same time, I saw sheets and towels appear. I’m still not sure how Grandma performed that trick…and not a moment too soon. In two minutes, with the next contraction, I was pushing her head out. The dispatcher kept telling Chris to not have me push. Ha! (all you mothers out there know what a joke that is when a baby has made up her mind). Chris kept dropping the little cellphone and soon Grandma had the phone and was relaying messages from the dispatcher. The next contraction followed shortly and her head was out, but Chris had to get the cord out from around Gwynne's neck. One can imagine the looks of shock/fear/excitement/terror on our faces during these few minutes. He did great of course and seconds later she was out. Interestingly, as soon as the cord was free, another contraction had her entirely out. I think my body knew to wait because there was a longer space before that last push. Though she was out, she didn’t immediately make any sounds . Another heart-stopping moment (even though I knew this was also common). After a little encouragement from Daddy (a swab of the mouth and spank on the bum) she was crying. I exclaimed, “Is it really a girl?” Chris hadn’t said nor had he bothered to notice with the all the excitement.

The dispatcher had us wrap Gwynne in a clean towel and place her on my stomach. Then it was the waiting game for the fire and rescue crew. I don’t know how many times Grandma and Chris shouted : “Where are they?!?!” I have to admit that I was content with my healthy-looking, crying baby in my arms and wasn’t worried. I didn’t even realize how sore I was from the awkward position of this childbirth or the birth itself. The paramedics did arrive just a few minutes after Gwynne’s birth - in time to tie off the cord and let Chris cut. Somewhere around this time Chris and I asked about Devin who must have been upset by all the commotion on the floor below his room. Finally Grandma had a chance to check on him, and amazingly, he slept through it. The kid who wakes up at the drop of a hat! The paramedics helped me up and I happily walked to the stretcher for our ride to the hospital. I tried to get them to take me to Loudoun Hospital as planned, but they wouldn’t have it. Fair Oaks was closest and that was where we were going. I didn’t put up a fight. I felt fantastic and I couldn’t have asked for a more natural labor.

Gwynne and I rode in the ambulance - sirens and all - and Chris wasn’t far behind us. After the paramedics checked her out again, she and I got some more bonding time as I nursed her. Eyes on me the whole time, I told her how wonderful her daddy was and how he would meet us at the hospital. The ambulance crew kept us great company too and they even took Gwynne’s first photos while we waited for Chris to arrive at the hospital.

Once at the hospital my euphoria wore off once the placenta was delivered. We were glad that messy part was saved for the hospital and not our bathroom floor. But, it was just as annoyingly painful as I remember with Devin’s birth and the doctor-on-call was not my cup of tea. I really missed our midwives! And, much like with the first birth, I lost a lot of blood after the placenta and felt faint. The doctor didn’t like my blood pressure reading, so I had to have an IV (just when I thought I’d escaped without it). After resting in bed and drinking lots more fruit juice, I was more than ready to walk to the restroom. Then we were finally moved to our postpartum room – our little corner of a room. And this time, I got to be present for the first bath. After all his hard work, Chris slept on the couch for the rest of the night. Gwynne slept well, too. Just like with Devin, I didn’t sleep until the second day. I just kept looking at my little miracle and reliving a second amazing birth experience.

Grandma's account:

My job was to respond immediately upon getting "the call": drive to Chantilly and take care of Devin, anytime day or night. Chris and Cate would go to the Loudon Birthing Inn for the birth of Gwynne. The concept was easy enough to understand; it was the unfolding of the actual event that I hadn't anticipated.

Cate informed me in mid-May that she didn't think that Gwynne would wait past Memorial Day to be born. But the due date was June 14! I had informed students and parents that exams for my classes would run from May 28 through June 3, more than a week ahead of schedule. In my clever scheme, Cate could deliver more than a week early and I could still have completed my essential end of year duties at school. Her scenario raised my level of tension a tad. So I packed my suitcase and left it in the car. Inevitably I needed something from it, say a hairdryer, and would have to run to the car many mornings to get it. Then I tended to forget to repack it. At school, I checked my e mails many times during the day, wondering which one would tell me to drop everything and head to Chantilly. I warned the kids at school to behave for the substitute, whenever one should be sent to cover for me. At home, I cooked and froze a few things, assuming that they would come in handy when Chris, Cate, and the baby returned from the hospital. That's when things would get really hectic.

The days passed, the emails from Cate indicating mild contractions on a number of occasions were followed by others saying that it was not the time. Then along came June 9. My parents were arriving that day, so I told Cate to tell Gwynne to hold off at least 24 hours till I had a chance to visit with them. Apparently Gwynne didn't see it my way. In the early evening the phone rang. Cate said contractions were there but not real painful. I should just be aware. An hour later she said, "Why don't you just head out here to be safe?" I still say there was an edge to her voice. This must be the real thing.

When I arrived, Chris' parents and aunt and uncle were there visiting. They soon headed back to Winchester and I thought Cate looked less than comfortable, even though she declared that the pains weren't severe. At this point time seemed to pass in a surreal fashion. Chris and Cate went to the lower level to concentrate on her contractions, a definite sign to me that things were progressing. I sat in a chair on the main level opposite a digital clock. I was supposed to be reading a book, but couldn't get past the first page. Cate's vocalizations through her contractions seemed to be wafting my way in frequent waves. With my eyes glued to the clock, it seemed to me (I'm no authority, just a nervous mother) that they should have already left for the hospital. After an eternity, 10 minutes or so, the two of them appeared. They thought they'd head out to the hospital. "Really? You think that'll work?", was my thought, wondering if the window of opportunity might have already closed on that timetable. My insides were churning. Cate declared that she needed one more visit to the bathroom before getting in the car.

From the bathroom, came a lovely high soprano note. Her water had broken and she felt the baby's head. Chris was on the scene immediately to concur in her assessment of the situation. He called 911. I took a quick look at my daughter, sorry for her discomfort, and hoping this would all turn out OK. Never had I imagined being present for the birth of anyone but my own children, and that was from a completely different point of view. I raced upstairs, fumbling in a closet in the dark (I should have paid better attention on previous visits to their house as to the location of light switches) for clean sheets to put underneath her. It seemed to take forever, but Cate said she thought I returned pretty quickly. Chris and Cate wanted me to check on Devin (he was in bed for the night and is normally a light sleeper). I ran back upstairs to check the monitor but heard and saw nothing...he was still sleeping. When I returned to the bathroom, the top half of Cate was pretzeled under the sink, and her lower body extended out the door. Gwynne's head popped out. I recall saying, "Oh, Chris, the cord is around her neck!" As if he hadn't noticed! He was talking with the 911 dispatcher but couldn't work with the cord and hold the phone. He handed it to me. I relayed whatever the dispatcher said to him. I repeated a lot of stuff. I don't remember it now. I do recall Chris' asking, "Where are they?" I recall saying the same. The answer was the same from the dispatcher every time. "They're on the way." Chris deftly removed removed the cord from the baby's neck...NICE JOB! More directions came from the dispatcher. The rest of Gwynne slid out, but no sound! That was scary!! Chris cleaned out her mouth, she took a breath a let out a wail, then several more. WONDERFUL! The dispatcher sent me back up the stairs for a towel in which to wrap Gwynne. I fumbled in the dark some more, making comments out loud to myself that I didn't know where they keep things, so the dispatcher got to hear that too. When I returned with the towel Chris wrapped the baby. More advise was forthcoming from the dispatcher. Again we asked, "where are they?" Seemingly it took forever for the ambulance to arrive. Finally, I heard the deep throb of a powerful engine and saw flashing lights. The dispatcher said, "goodbye". I thanked her for her help. The EMT's...seemed like 6 of them, squeezed through the front door with their equipment. And I thought that front hall and tiny bathroom were crowded with just the 3 of us there! At this point, time began to flow in a normal fashion again. I'm guessing that not much over 10 minutes had passed from Cate's entering the bathroom to the arrival of the ambulance, but it seemed like 10 hours. I'm sure we 3 wore the "deer in the headlights" face throughout the event.

I struck up a conversation with one of the guys on the team who informed me that when they heard the part about the cord around the baby's neck, they hurried faster to the scene. Meanwhile, Chris cut the cord, the baby was cleaned up a little and wrapped in a more traditional receiving blanket. Cate prepared to get on the gurney for the short ride out her front door to the ambulance. An EMT asked me, "Would you like to see the baby, Grandma?" This is the cutest part for me. I swear to you that she looked me square in the eyes (Yeah, yeah, they can't see that soon...whatever!), and uncovered her left hand (it had been wrapped in the swaddle), spread out all five fingers to wave at me! The next thing I knew, everybody was gone and the house was quiet....Just Devin sleeping and me. I was a little to keyed up to sleep that night.